For most of that game, that crucial, gotta-have, backs-against-the-wall baseball game, I knew what this morning’s report would say, and it would have amounted to one sentence, made up of four words, but then Jurickson Profar changed all that in an extraordinary, crazy-great instant and #pro and #far and Angels righty Michael Kohn doesn’t like this place too much but Matt Garza does and Profar signed with Texas on June 2, 2009 which was the same day Mike Trout signed with the Angels and that will always be cool to me and Profar was 16 then which is less rare than a player signing at nearly 23 years old which is what Craig Gentry did and Leonys Martin was even older than Gentry when he signed and sure we all expected those three to star in the biggest win of the season (so far) and I’m not sure whether Gentry’s biggest contribution was the three hits and stolen base or the former Tommy John patient’s laser to the plate to cut Howie Kendrick down in the fifth or maybe it was his clever strikeout to end the eighth to ensure that Lance Berkman wouldn’t bat at that point because it would have meant Profar wouldn’t have hit and maybe I’d be writing that four-word report this morning as a result even though I would have been tempted to write about Josh Hamilton who stood 90 feet from basically ending the Rangers’ season while Profar sat in the dugout thinking about the opportunity he’d have minutes later but Joe Nathan punched out Kole Calhoun and then Joe Nathan punched out Mark Trumbo and Josh Hamilton headed back to the dugout instead of down the baseline and when Calhoun fouled the 2-2 pitch that sent Trumbo scurrying from somewhere near the on-deck circle into the dugout and out of view I thought it might have been because Trumbo soiled himself because I couldn’t tell whether the foul ball actually hit Trumbo anywhere and if Hamilton of all people had been the one to score a go-ahead run there I don’t think I would have soiled myself but I might have said something descriptive along those lines but he didn’t and this one was more about overcoming a historically brutal four-infield-error inning with a historically awesome fourth straight home win against the Angels by walkoff homer and Profar going four or wait should that have been “an” historically and wow Eric Nadel’s extraordinary, crazy-great call of that moment and, man, baseball, and Gatorade baths are for sharks and stuff and so are clubhouse beer showers and sure Profar’s only 20 but “clothes aren’t under-age” and I could watch the Phantom Cam replay of Profar’s swing a thousand times and I doubt they had Phantom Cam when Miguel Cabrera hit his walkoff homer in 2003 which was the last time someone younger than Profar did that and do you start Gentry and Profar tonight against Ceej and if so does Jeff Baker play first base and why isn’t it game time yet and Adam Rosales running into the dugout after scoring a run is the 2013 equivalent of Koji running into the dugout after a third out in 2011 but they both bow down to any instance of runner’s-rounding-third Wash-trionics from the dugout and Texas may still be one game back in the playoff chase but at this time last year the Rangers had a two-game lead and we all remember how that ended and how Josh Hamilton didn’t do much to force a different result in that brutal game against the Orioles and Jurickson Profar had a ninth-inning pinch-hit in that game too but with slightly less impact and hey maybe Profar has just been baiting MLB all year and Hamilton told reporters yesterday he’d like to help knock the Rangers out of the playoffs and irony much? and I’m not done watching Martin Perez and Matt Garza pitch this year if it’s all the same to you and yeah I think I’ll remember Garza’s final two regular-season starts as a Ranger for a very long time and for all its frustrations I’m gonna miss the 2013 Texas Rangers season when it’s over but I’m not nearly ready to miss it yet and being at the Ballpark for an extraordinary, crazy-great, crucial win by walkoff homer is, well, you can have your other sports, and Jurickson Profar is 20 seriously he’s 20 and mismatched socks and let’s go Alexi and the swim is still alive and so I ended up writing just one sentence after all.


profar092613                                                                                                                               The great @kevinjairaj/USA Today

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