Worst.

I was thinking I’d watch another solid Yu Darvish start and dig in on the Josh Hamilton contract situation this morning, but then a strange and not very good baseball day happened, as we learned Neftali Feliz had a sore elbow a week ago but told nobody and then was terrible on Friday, hours after Texas watched Roy Oswalt throw, and now Feliz is on the disabled list with a sprain (no tear) and will be shut down for a month and maybe more and Nolan Ryan told Randy Galloway that he wants to talk to Jon Daniels about what the Rangers’ scouts thought about Oswalt’s session and we all need to realize that it could take a month and maybe more for him to get reasonably stretched out and Texas didn’t lose one starting pitcher to the disabled list in 2011 and in fact Texas hadn’t ever gone this far into a season without a roster move and there were 11 roster moves by this time last year and one fantastic upshot of all this is that I have reason to write the words “Ken Pape” for the second time in the history of the Newberg Report and that reminds me that the Newberg Report’s 14-year anniversary is Thursday and run-on sentences are the new market inefficiency.

And Michael Kirkman, and real life.

And once again Seattle managed to mortalize Darvish and Hamilton celebrated his birthday not by hurling a bat into the stands but instead by nearly doing it with a baseball and #Gloops and you should make plans to attend Eric Nadel’s Birthday Benefit on Thursday night and there’s no game that day which you should have already deduced since Nadel goes to every Rangers game and incidentally he helmed things alone last night because Steve Busby had to slide over to TV since Dave Barnett was sick and to make things more interesting on that side of things Fox Sports Southwest wasn’t able to air commercials for most of the game and in the meantime Daniels sat in with Nadel for three fantastic innings of radio and over this stretch of 18 games in 18 days which will be 20 in 20 before Eric Nadel’s Birthday Benefit the Rangers have managed to go only 9-9 (conversation fear) but have seen the A’s (4.0 games back) and Mariners (6.5) gain only half a game each while the Angels (8.0) have dropped another half a game back and remember that treading water in the standings isn’t so bad when you’re leading the pack since each day like that is one less day for those who trail to make up ground and the Angels lost to Oakland last night and I’m still in favor of that and I really wish Vernon Wells hadn’t gotten hurt and seriously Jairo Beras MLB Jairo Beras Jairo Beras and wow Chris Davis and Pedro Strop and Darren O’Day but flags fly forever and wow to you too Koji Uehara and take a very good look at what Adam Jones did in the minor leagues and I want Hamilton to start being really awesome again even though it will make me not want to write about his contract situation and worst Newberg Report ever and if I could have done this with letters cut out from a magazine like a ransom note I might have because baseball can make you crazy and I was really wrong about Juan Moreno.

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