A plea to JD.

JD, please make a trade.

Max Ramirez and Wilfredo Boscan for Ryan Tucker.  Tim Smith and Manny Pina for Danny Duffy (maybe the Royals won’t notice).  Randy Galloway for Ben Shpigel.  The guy who does the Rangers Ballpark video board prospect features for a couple Carl’s cheesesteaks from Yankee Stadium.  It doesn’t matter.  

Just please make a trade.  In fact, tonight would be much appreciated.

While I’m sitting here at the computer waiting for a breaking news bulletin, let me punch up my Cowboys macro. . . . OK, here we go . . . <ALT-b.s.> . . . overmatched, unprepared, undisciplined, pathetic, sloppy, embarrassing, nauseating.

This football team plays predictably stupid football, and I’m stupid for caring.

It all flows down from the head coach, who is so obviously ill-equipped that it would shock me if there was one person aside from the owner who would even attempt to argue the point.  Force me to sum up the Wade Phillips Cowboys in one play from tonight?  

Ten defensive men on the field – coming out of a timeout – ought to do the job.

Aaron Rodgers still looks like Ellen Degeneres, but my football team plays with the tenacity and focus of Gallagher.  Ten more penalties (and who knows how many more that were declined), countless mental errors and concentration lapses, an inability (indifference?) to color within the lines.  Demoralizing.  The “coach” will surely blame this one on injuries, because the franchise embodies a culture of unaccountability – so why not keep the theme rolling?

Two good friends who know exponentially more football than I do will tell me I’m overreacting, and one will go so far as to try and talk me off the ledge.  Save it.  Marc Colombo’s season ended tonight, and so did mine.

Come on, JD.  Do me a solid.  Trade Jorge Carrion and Bucky Buckles for Stubby Clapp.  Distract me.

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P.S.  The 2010 Bound Edition special (http://www.newbergreport.com/buythebook.asp) ends tonight.  The book goes back to its normal $25 cost tomorrow.

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(c) Jamey Newberg
http://www.newbergreport.com
Twitter  @newbergreport

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